"Nice work if you can get it."

This week, I was struck by a piece I read in the Huffpost Parents page titled, "Why Do You Have To Work, Mama?"  In it, mothers explain that it's not just they can't afford not to work, it's also they they like their work.  It's not just the paycheck, it's the opportunity to do something exciting.  It's the satisfaction of a job well-done.  Not all of us have that experience with work, but it's "nice work if you can get it."  As hard as it is to leave one's children, there are lots of things hanging in balance (or out of balance, sometimes), but it can be worth it.  My favorite answer was along the lines of "I need to share my talents with the world."

A couple of weeks ago, I started my Applied Learning Experience (A.L.E., read: internship with a deliverable) at the state Department of Public Health contributing to a quantitative evaluation that one of their programs is undertaking.  I have done a literature review and some preliminary descriptive statistics on my chosen outcome measure.  I've run those statistics in a code-driven database called SAS, which has been a lot of fun since I just finished a SAS class. It's great that I get to apply what I learned in that class immediately and contribute to meaningful work happening in the world.  And you know what?  I'm having a blast.

The older Calvin gets, the more engaging he is.  The first morning I left for my ALE, I was a wreck.  So was he.  It has gotten modestly easier, but it's still not without tears.  One morning, as I was leaving, he used his words to say, "bye bye" for first time when I left.  I burst out into tears and went on my way.  For some people, the younger they are, the harder it is to say goodbye.  I've found it to be quite the opposite.

The truth is that I never wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom, but I've been feeling conflicted recently nevertheless.  I love spending time with Calvin, and school has been hard.  And even though our family can't afford for me to stay at home, I've been fantasizing about how great it would be if I had the option.  I don't.

But this experience feels worth it.  My A.L.E. will be part of a publishable written evaluation for an excellent program that helps a lot of women, and I'm having fun doing it.  I feel more alive than I've felt for months.  I can't tell you how good it feels to be in the working world and advancing maternal-child health through knowledge and skills that I have gained throughout my work and school experiences.  It feels great to get home at the end of the day, and it feels great to be at my A.L.E.  I am fortunate that I've landed such a good fit.  I only hope I find such a rewarding job when I finish my dual masters' program in December.  In the meantime, I'm thrilled to be able to tell Calvin, "I love you.  I'll see you when I get home.  I have to go share my talents with the world."